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How to Handle Conflict with Grace 
with special guest Kira McKeown

Tiffanie and I attended an amazing conference this weekend. One of the speakers, Anita Moorjani, echoed a Wayne Dyer sentiment: “If you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice… not apple, not grape…orange. If you want to know what’s inside a person, just squeeze.” I couldn’t agree more. My husband says he can always tell when I’m stressed out or feeling “squeezed.” It seems I get grumpy and messy… yeah, right! I always “humph” or bark back some snarky remark but secretly, I know he’s picked up on the signs before I’ve had the chance. 

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I can’t think of a bigger, life altering “conflict” than divorce. A few of our contemporaries have reached that point along the path where spackle can no longer hide the cracks. So, (sigh) splitting the sheets it is. If only it was that simple. If only they stopped there. The stories floating around are….eyebrow raising? I’m amazed at the dirty laundry people are willing to air, holy moly! Some of this stuff would even make Maury Povich cringe. What is it about this process that brings out such nastiness in couples? Why do people have to conduct their business in the court of public opinion? Oh, I forgot… we live in the world of reality tv.

Our guest this week, Kira McKeown is a lawyer that is offering a different approach; a gentler, mindful approach. As she says, “If you're looking for someone to out nasty or go for the throat, I’m not for you.” If a client is looking for a way to (I love this) “Renegotiate the marital contract,” then they’re in the right place. Kira explains how the stress around divorce can trigger a paralyzing fear, a sort of “fight or flight” response. It’s in this state that we are being asked to make decisions that will affect each member of the family, for years to come. Add to that, our current get-all-you-can culture, and things go from bad to worse.

I found the idea of the self righteous victim, pretty interesting. I’m not sure I’ve EVER heard someone getting divorced say, “I feel horrible that I (fill in the blank). “Or, if only I’d known (fill in the blank).”  Actually, now that I think about it, I have heard people say these things… usually way after the “battle” has been fought. How different would the outcome be if both parties owned their part? How would it look if one person refused to get nasty? I’d like to think the other person would respond in kind, maybe? Bigger question: “How much better off would the kids be if they didn’t get caught in the middle of the mud slinging?”  

I love that Kira is out there. I love that she’s starting a conversation that WILL speed up the peace and healing process. When living in a society where almost 50% of marriages will fall apart or “need renegotiating,” her option really is one that needs to be explored. Finding the peace, the center point while walking through any type of conflict. Not being irrational, unkind, mean, vindictive; wouldn’t that be nice?

So, this is what Show #3 is all about. Listen in, maybe there are a few pointers that might just come in handy if you find yourself in a precarious situation….

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Kira McKeown, JD is a practicing litigator in Texas. Her life experience in divorce started with her childhood and ostensibly led to her young adulthood, during which she found herself a twice-divorced mother of two, practicing family law in one of the largest markets in the nation.

Married again since 2005, and with a third child, Kira has found a new way to think, be and practice law. It is a peaceful place filled with more self-awareness and humility as a result of the chaotic inner state of her younger self.

Her blog Splitsville brings the best of her experience from a battle-filled life followed by a subsequent awakening to the truth of her “self” that knows only joy.

Today's Pearl of Wisdom:
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Max Planck, a German Physicist who is known as the founder of Quantum Physics.

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Yup, we crack ourselves up!!

Links to some of the cool things we mention on show:

  • Internal Self Reflection and Emotional Energy Work:  Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) / Tapping - MyUntappedPotential Tiffanie's website

  • Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. is a nationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, researcher, spiritual teacher and lecturer. The uniqueness of his contribution to humanity comes from the advanced state of spiritual awareness of Enlightenment.
 


Comments

Marsha Farias
05/18/2016 8:24am

Much needed view from the mountain top. Thanks ladies for all you are doing to heal the mind and set the heart free.

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08/30/2016 8:29am

Divorce is already a sad story. A new war as ex lovers is a different one. Since you are already grieving with a loss, I don't think it's healthy to still argue. It would be nice if both sides can just ask for forgiveness from each other since it is no one's fault that sometimes things like this happen. Who knows if you don't leave scars, you might be reunited.

Reply
09/02/2016 1:41am

Thanks for sharing these links. I like this episode. Your show is amazing.

Reply
10/03/2016 6:41pm

I personally have been quite happy with what I have read here, his articles have enough quality and quite helpful.

Reply

Link exchange is nothing else but it is simply placing the other person’s website link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do similar in support of you.

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