with special guest Kira McKeown
Tiffanie and I attended an amazing conference this weekend. One of the speakers, Anita Moorjani, echoed a Wayne Dyer sentiment: “If you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice… not apple, not grape…orange. If you want to know what’s inside a person, just squeeze.” I couldn’t agree more. My husband says he can always tell when I’m stressed out or feeling “squeezed.” It seems I get grumpy and messy… yeah, right! I always “humph” or bark back some snarky remark but secretly, I know he’s picked up on the signs before I’ve had the chance.
Our guest this week, Kira McKeown is a lawyer that is offering a different approach; a gentler, mindful approach. As she says, “If you're looking for someone to out nasty or go for the throat, I’m not for you.” If a client is looking for a way to (I love this) “Renegotiate the marital contract,” then they’re in the right place. Kira explains how the stress around divorce can trigger a paralyzing fear, a sort of “fight or flight” response. It’s in this state that we are being asked to make decisions that will affect each member of the family, for years to come. Add to that, our current get-all-you-can culture, and things go from bad to worse.
I found the idea of the self righteous victim, pretty interesting. I’m not sure I’ve EVER heard someone getting divorced say, “I feel horrible that I (fill in the blank). “Or, if only I’d known (fill in the blank).” Actually, now that I think about it, I have heard people say these things… usually way after the “battle” has been fought. How different would the outcome be if both parties owned their part? How would it look if one person refused to get nasty? I’d like to think the other person would respond in kind, maybe? Bigger question: “How much better off would the kids be if they didn’t get caught in the middle of the mud slinging?”
I love that Kira is out there. I love that she’s starting a conversation that WILL speed up the peace and healing process. When living in a society where almost 50% of marriages will fall apart or “need renegotiating,” her option really is one that needs to be explored. Finding the peace, the center point while walking through any type of conflict. Not being irrational, unkind, mean, vindictive; wouldn’t that be nice?
So, this is what Show #3 is all about. Listen in, maybe there are a few pointers that might just come in handy if you find yourself in a precarious situation….
Married again since 2005, and with a third child, Kira has found a new way to think, be and practice law. It is a peaceful place filled with more self-awareness and humility as a result of the chaotic inner state of her younger self.
Her blog Splitsville brings the best of her experience from a battle-filled life followed by a subsequent awakening to the truth of her “self” that knows only joy.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Max Planck, a German Physicist who is known as the founder of Quantum Physics.
- Internal Self Reflection and Emotional Energy Work: Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) / Tapping - MyUntappedPotential Tiffanie's website
- Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. is a nationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, researcher, spiritual teacher and lecturer. The uniqueness of his contribution to humanity comes from the advanced state of spiritual awareness of Enlightenment.