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New JoyRide Show this week: No Need to Fear Your Shadow! Shadow Work with special guest Sally Bartolameolli

Kerry here: I remember how intrigued I was when I first heard the terms, Shadow Work and the Shadow Self. This gave a name to that illusive “unseen” part of myself I could sense but not quite put my finger on. At some point, I began noticing the string of relationships that usually ended with me feeling frustrated and let down.

Why exactly was this? Oh, I know! I’m sure it was that my heart was way too big. No wait…maybe it was that I just gave too much…? Yes, that’s it. I’m sure I was just too kind and generous. I was an angel of a person, hanging out with selfish people that didn’t know how to give, only how to take. Yep. That about sums up my view the relationships all around me. (See how strong the self preserving delusion is?) As you can see, this view can only last if you squint really hard or just all together, CLOSE your eyes!!
Somewhere around this period of looking in the mirror, I had an epiphany. Realizing I wanted more than a surface fix of trying to be nicer, less gossipy, or critical. I realized I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to uncover my beliefs that were driving my actions that generated these crazy, controlling emotions.     

In order to do this, I had to assume serious responsibility and walk directly INTO the why’s of my behavior. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t pretty. Looking in the mirror, I saw a petty, insecure person with pretty low self-esteem. I judged others as a way of building walls around myself. You know, “reject before being rejected?” Another huge thing I found out about my shadow self was my ability to cut people out of my life. (Not family, thank goodness. They wouldn’t go even if I tried.)  I would create some perceived slight, and BAM, the blade would fall, sending me back to my comfort zone of only a handful of vetted people.     

As you can see, uncovering these dark aspects of yourself is not easy. Good news, you don’t have to walk this path alone. There are people out there, who are well trained in facilitating your journey  to your Shadow Self.

This week’s guest, Sally Bartolameolli (rhymes with part-of-me-only) is such a facilitator. Sally is a journey-woman, lighting the path as she guides others along their decent into the darkness of their being and back into the light. She embodies the sacred soul, wise elder, and protective warrior. During one part of our interview, I found myself tearing up (ok, crying). Being around her, I felt safe and wide open. 

Sally is a life coach for emotional and spiritual healing
who has confronted her own addictions and family of origin wounds. As a recovering bulimic, overeater, co-sex addict, money drunk, codependent, love and romance addict, she understand the practices necessary for living an authentic, spiritual and emotional life. The key is to heal without medicating or avoiding the honest challenges that arise. Learning to love our imperfections is part of the journey as well. We need community, spiritual connection and passionate self-love to honor our soul’s purpose and live fully expressed lives.  On her website you can explore her books, e-courses, Shadow Work® workshops, JourneyDance™, Transformational Coaching options, articles and much more. 

Relationships from Addiction to Authenticity
From her own recovery from co-sex addiction, Sally co-authors this book to help others learn self honesty, boundaries, self love, self respect, find their own pathway to empowerment and receive inspiration from the honest stories of women who have gone before you.

Blessings From Mary. Daily Sacred Feminine Meditations that Awaken one to Their Divine Purpose. Inspired by Mary Magdalene
This book is a meditation and spiritual guidebook for anyone interested in connecting with their Divine Purpose and Destiny as well as embracing and honoring Sacred Feminine Principles.

A few words from Tiffanie: If you're exploring personal development work, the term Shadow Work may conjure up images of sinister negative aspects that you'd much rather leave alone! But as we learned from Sally, it's not that at all! The theory is as we grow up, we start to reject parts of ourselves that are deemed 'unacceptable' by parents or your society, and so to make sure we are loved and included, we tend to push down or suppress these aspects. When we reject parts of ourselves, we can feel it as a split and these now unconscious aspects in darkness are considered in shadow. But it's not all negative, as there's a lot of positive aspects that were not allowed as children (think having your own opinion, being inquisitive, talkative, exploring, showing emotions, etc.), but are now calling you as an adult to be brought into the light. If you are open to allow Sally or another skilled Shadow Worker to help you, you can be guided to reunite these pieces and heal in the most profound and beautiful ways. 

Sally shared her story of this gorgeous Mary Magdalena pendant. We also discuss her upcoming workshops, her article about being a bitch, history with "12 Step Spirituality," and her work with the Women In Power Program. We also love her articles on Elephant Journal!

Thank you for listening to JoyRide! We wish you blessings on your journey!

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