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Answer:  The human race fights because the illusion of separation cuts us off from one another. When separated, we can understand each other only through our limited bank of knowledge. We look back on our own experiences to make sense of someone's actions. This is rather subjective. The following is a simple example:

You're at the market picking up cupcakes for your child's school party. Your client ran late, causing your meeting to run over. You know your sweet, little one will be watching the classroom door, eagerly awaiting your arrival. You imagine his disappointment each time the door opens and another mother walks in. You're panicked because the party started 2 minutes ago. In a rush, you grab the cupcakes, run to the checkout line only to get behind the oldest, slowest, chattiest human EVER! You curse your choice of lines.

At some point, you convince yourself this "old coot" is doing this just to annoy you. You're sure he's somehow picked up on the fact that you are in a major hurry and has decided to tell the checker the story about his family gathering of the previous week. Slow Talker, you think to yourself.... slow. Freaking. Talker.

By this point you can just imagine your baby boy is feeling like you don't care about him as much as the other mothers must care about their kids. You're upset with your client. You’re upset with the checker and you're downright PISSED OFF at this little, old man. Why in the world did you decide to go back to work?!?!!?  Being cut off from each other, there's no way of knowing "the rest of the story" (thank you Paul Harvey).

If we had the ability to peer into this other, sweet soul we would know that each week, this is one of only a few outings he goes on. We would know that he makes out his list, irons his clothes, puts on his hat and drives himself to the market. We would know that each week for 15 years, he and his lovely bride would go to lunch then go to the market. We would know that only a few months ago, his sweet wife passed away. We would know that this seemingly small human interaction is so very needed for this sweet man.

If the human race was connected, if we knew "the rest of the story", most likely we would be kinder, softer, sweeter with each other. It's only in these moments of isolation, irritation, stress, pain, and anger that we allow ourselves to lash out at each other. We don't realize the hurt and pain we cause, thus perpetuating the dark, downward spiral.

The example I gave was one that I think most of us can relate to. This is an everyday type of situation with not much more than an irritant at play. On a larger scale, we have an us versus them mentality that merely feeds the seemingly separate nature of mankind. The bi-partisan elections coming in 2016 reflect a strong tendency we have to separate within the country and against other countries.

I decided to watch the Republican debates with my three young-ish children. At one point, my youngest began crying, saying, “I'm scared. THEY say the ‘enemy is already here and WWIII has already begun’". Based on the potential leader of our country, we are supposed to detest the "bad guys", and cheer on this potential future president as he proposes that we "blow these guys off the map".

This is where fear and disconnectedness serve the powers that be. Man, I get it. I found myself hoping to feel safe (not realizing it was the same powers that be that scared the tar out of my kids to begin with). Can we really kill people we'd otherwise have a beer with? Can we kill another mother's son? Can we wish to kill a playmate's father?

Again, I get it. I get that it's not this simple. When we're cut off from each other and left to draw from external sources, it's much easier to succumb to fear and frustration, thus perpetuating the  "us and them" mentality. The illusion of separation feeds the fear of being disconnected, but the truth is we are all connected.

The desire for connection is so incredibly pervasive in our society, we're blinded by it. They tell us, If we were "enough;" smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough, rich enough, we'd have the "connectedness" we desire. The marketing machines’ wheels are greased by this single desire: connectedness. Thing is, our disconnectedness is simply an illusion, a really super duper strong illusion.

I have some great news! Connectedness is easy:

Well, kinda. It takes a little reconditioning (ok, a lot). All you have to do is rev up your heart (center, area, chakra... You pick the terminology). Try this: imagine a homeless person. What's the first thing that comes to mind? Maybe drugs? Maybe mental illness?

Now: (Connectedness)

Think of this person as a child. Little boy. Think of him making life choices. Think of him holding his first-born child. Now, go back to the image of him as a homeless person. Do you feel a tiny bit of compassion? That, my friend, is recognizing the truth of the connection.


By: Kerry Walker

 

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